Why the word “tolerate” is a huge red flag

I hear it all the time: “My dog tolerates so much from my kids.” While most parents would consider that a positive thing, it can actually be a predictor of future incidents. Society has convinced us that our dogs should accept having their food dish played with, their tail pulled, or being ridden on like a horse. People post photos on social media of their kids laying on their dogs like a bean bag, or hugging them like stuffed animals. The anxiety and stress I see in these dogs’ eyes is anything but cute. In fact, any dog professional will tell you that it’s extremely difficult to find photos of kids with dogs that look genuinely happy. When dogs use body language to signal that they need space, most humans miss the cues because they don't understand dog communication. As a result, people often assume their dog is "tolerating" a situation, when in truth, the dog is not comfortable at all. Just because a dog is not growling or biting, doesn’t mean they are giving consent. Additionally, it is important to consider that, even if they were tolerating the situation, they shouldn’t have to.

In my line of work, I get calls that “the bite came out of nowhere”, when in fact, the dog had been giving warning signs for months or years. In other cases, the dog becomes less tolerant as they age due to aching joints or other medical reasons. Another common thing I see, is kids who think all dogs behave the same. They’re allowed to hug their dog at home, so they hug grandma’s dog or the neighbor dog with an unfortunate outcome. As a parent, I understand how easy it is to get complacent and trust that your kids “know better” or that your dog won’t harm anyone. The goal of my work is to prevent incidents from happening in the first place. I would much rather educate parents on the front end than work through a situation where a bite has already occurred. Being able to recognize unsafe situations and redirect them can ensure that everyone is living their best life.